Begin again

Getting vulnerable is uncomfortable, but I have taken a 2 year sabbatical from my photography business and feel like explaining why because it's still part of my struggle. I love photography, but I have a lot of anxiety and pain wrapped in it as well.

On January 1st, 2015 my sweet mother died after battling cancer. She was the reason I started photography, she helped me develop my eye, how I see things through my lens. and she poured over my photographs after every shoot and raved about how talented she thought I was.

My mom gave me the confidence to start my business, to shoot weddings, and not to give up when I felt talentless or critical of my work. I also have debilitating anxiety, and I would panic before every shoot but my mom would give me pep talks that helped me show up for my clients. My mom was my cheerleader.

When my mom died, so did my motivation. She was my partner and inspiration - photography has felt empty without her.

I am a recovering heroin and cocaine addict. After several serious losses and hardships over the past couple of years, I ended up relapsing. My addiction almost killed me last year, but the past few months I've been fighting for my life and have finally made it out of hell. I'm learning how to cope with life in healthier, more effective ways.

One of those healthy coping skills has been rediscovering my passion for photography! It is amazing that I can report that I'm finally ready to begin again. For real this time :) I've also relocated - I now live in Arizona, Phoenix area.

I've slowly started taking clients and I'll blog some recent shoots in the next little bit. I'm cautious, a little anxious, and finally excited to start doing what I love again.

Pipe dreams

There is so much chaos in the world. I have been following the news for a while and have had so many thoughts. I read the debates in the comments although I haven't gotten involved for a while. I feel enraged at the injustice and stupidity each headline represents.

Madness in the world is a slow death.

Disturbing human beings with violence and control multiplies the social fires that every politician promises and then fails to extinguish.

 Foreign policies and chronic domestic neglect for the past several republican AND democratic presidents administrations leave little doubt that the people who have the power to enact change, peace and freedom are not interested in prioritizing humanity. What is the pay off for those at the top? What about the agendas they are committed to carry out because they have been bought out? Money. Power. Control. Domination. When that is the goal and motivation, communities suffer. The nation suffers. The world suffers.

This is the story of our species and it's not new. Is there a solution? Are peace or civility possible? Are acceptance and love pipe dreams or can they be culture?

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Spirituality

I don't subscribe to any one practice, religion or belief system: I find beauty and inspiration from many of them though.I believe that religions and spiritual practices are like spokes on a wheel and they all lead to the same center. In the spirit of incorporating the ideas that move me, I've created a little meditation space for myself:

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Photography is a spiritual experience for me as well. I have missed it so much. I finally acquired a camera and lense and I hope that soon I will Also have a capable computer so I can start producing even better work as I push myself to create honest images.

booking weddings for 2015!

after a long hiatus i'm excited to announce that i'm finally back in business! currently booking weddings for 2015- contact me now (hello@heatherlorriane.com) to talk details with me.

i'm offering an incredible bundle package (engagement session and wedding day) for $800 - this includes all images (original sized digital files, all images plus edits) if you book your wedding by march 31st. 50% deposit require at booking.