the google is the gateway drug

i have a problem- sometimes i stay up until the sun is making it's rounds on another day, searching the internet for a solution to my woes. i become convinced it's out there, needle in a haystack:

- that perfect job that will solve my sad cash-flow (wait, you're saying you'll pay me just because i'm AWESOME?)
- the perfect boyfriend (hey there, handsome. no, really, i don't care that we met on craigslist, you're abusive, and also smell like cheese. destiny.)
- an official answer as to the meaning of life (sex, drugs, rock & roll. no? ... ...still no?)
- and that thing you can purchase from amazon that's going to fill the void (if i just had IT i would be content!)

will i find what i'm actually looking for (like love, satisfaction, meaning, fulfillment, peace, joy, self esteem, and money)?

well, if years of useless experience have taught me anything, NO.

but hey, i'm a glass-half-full so get out if you're a joy nihilist, there's just not room for downers like you in this area of the blogosphere.

what is it that keeps me coming back and back and back? pavlov's dogs metaphor, i have issues and immediately begin to roam endlessly on google even though i know an answer's not going to throw itself at me. it worked once (not really), but at this point my response is just automatic.

then there's the other bit, wherein the internet provides a fantastic distraction to numb out feelings, forget your worries, and lose enormous chunks of time from your consciousness. warn the kids, the google is a gateway drug. just say "NO!"